The problems that were present in my fist essay were: uninteresting title, two paragraphs, my thesis was in the wrong place, and the sentence structure was all the same. In my new essay I made a title re-wrote my intorduction paragraph, placing my thesis in the correct place and varried my sentences by removing vague ones and deadwood. Through correcting my problems i learned where to place my thesis in the intorduction paragraph. My goals for future in class essays are, to take my time and make a quick outline so i have more paragraphs.
